Fast Food Fool

Okay, I’m going to be real with you- if you eat fast food in the year 2015, something physically traumatizing definitely happened to you in utero. Once a year, I get. When you’re babysitting kids you don’t like, I get. But, if you’re an adult with more than $5 a week, and access to even as little as a food cart on a dusty road in Mexico, you better be learning Spanish. There is no good reason to eat fast food. It is *intentionally* made as poorly as possible with the smallest amount of healthy nutritional value as deemed legal on Earth.

However, you’re big person now, you can decide for yourself. I have to let this butterfly go and let you make your own choices. With that in mind, I want to help you. You don’t deserve it, but helping people is my M.O., thus, I gotcha back, bruh.

Here we have some of the major fast food restaurants and every vegan option they have available. It’s even in alphabetical order! Because sometimes your family is pressuring you and you don’t have time to think or they’ll start whining about how you make everything so difficult, and that’s why you’re still single. No, ma, I’m single because no one gets me!

Let me know if there are any biggies I left out or if I made any mistakes.

Eat and be merry. Just don’t tell me about it.

Applebee’s – Sizzling Vegetable Skillet, Steamed Vegetable Plate, Nachos (w/o cheese, sour cream, + beef)

Arby’s – Garden Salad, Side Salad, Marinara Sauce, Apple Turnover, Cherry Turnover, Italian Dressing, Baked Potato (plain!), Sourdough Bread, Potato Cakes, Raspberry Vinaigrette, Seasoned Tortilla Strips, Apple Turnover, Cherry Turnover, Chocolate Twist,

Baskin Robbins – Sorbet, Ices

Bennigan’s – Boca Burger, Garden Salad, Roasted Vegetable Primavera (w/o Lemon Butter Sauce)

Blimpie – Italian White Sub Roll, Wheat Sub Roll, Mediterranean Flat Bread Marbled Rye Roll, Spinach Tortilla, Flour Tortilla, Ciabatta Bread, Fat Free Italian Dressing, Light Italian Dressing, Blimpie Dressing, Blimpie Sub Dressing, Apple Strudelette, Long John, Original Potato Chips, Jalapeno Chips, Pasta Salad, Guacamole, Sweet Peppers, Hot Peppers, Jalepeno Peppers,

Boston Market – Chunky Cinnamon Apple Sauce, Fruit Salad, Steamed Vegetables, Zucchini Marinara, Apple Cobbler (not pie!), Tossed Salad (no croutons or dressing), Cranberry Walnut Relish, Cinnamon Apples, Fruit Salad

Burger King – French Fries, Strawberry Apple Sauce, Dutch Apple Pie (you can smile  now), Plain Salad, Onion Rings, Fruit Jams, Ketchup, Mustard, Dill Pickles, Hash Browns,

Carl Jr. – French fries, Hash Brown Nuggets, Breadsticks, English Muffins, CrissCuts, Salad Bar, 3 Bean Salad, Fat Free Italian Dressing, Great Stuff™ Baked Potatoes (ask for all-vegetable margerine)

Cheeburger Cheeburger – Grilled Portobello Mushroom Sandwich (w/o cheese), Boca Burger, Salads (minus cheese), Fries, Onion Rings

Chi-Chi’s – Chips, Salsa, Dinner Salad (without cheese), Refried beans (with cheese- Kidding! Just making sure you’re paying attention), guacamole

Chili’s – Chips, Salsa, Veggie Quesadilla (w/o cheese and sour cream add extra veggies), Cadillac Fajitas (w/o meat), Bottomless Tostada Chips, Fries, Steamed Broccoli (no butter), Sauteed Mushrooms with Onions and Peppers (fried in vegetable oil- they love when you make requests!)

Chipotle – Vegetarian Fajita Burrito (w/ black beans NOT pinto beans), Vegetarian Burrito (with BLACK beans, no cheese, no sour cream)

Chuck E. Cheese – Pizza Sauce, Pizza Crust (sauce and crust is a thing, no?)

Cold Stone Creamery – Lemon Sorbet, Tangerine Sorbet, Raspberry Sorbet. That stone is still cold!

Denny’s – Oatmeal Fixins’ (raisins, brown sugar, sliced banana), Juice, English Muffins, Grits, Applesauce, Fresh Fruit, Frozen Strawberries, Jelly, nut and fruit topping, fruit syrups, baked potato, marinara sauce, sautéed mushrooms, grilled onions and peppers, guacamole, barbecue sauce, vegetable plates, seasoned fries, mashed potatoes, sauerkraut, garden salads, dressings (light Italian, reduced French, Oriental dressing, oil and vinegar) light rye bread, bagel, boule bread

Einstein Bros. Bagels – Plain, Jalapeno, Chopped Onion, Everything Bagel, Cinnamon Raisin Swirl, Chocolate Chip, Poppy Dip Bagel, Wild Blueberry, Salt Bagel, Sesame dipd Bagel, Pumpernickel, Cranberry, Sun-Dried Tomato Bagels

Five Guys Burgers and Fries – You can eat the fries! Not the burgers, though.

Hard Rock Cafe – Vegetarian Burger (fortunately, you don’t go for the food….), Veggie Sandwich, Salads

Jimmy John’s – Vegetarian Sub (w/o cheese and mayo), Gourmet Veggie Club (w/o cheese and mayo), Pickle Spear, Whole Pickle,

Johnny Rocket’s – the Streamliner (vegan Boca Burger), Fries, Onion Rings (no ranch sauce), Grilled Mushrooms, Garden Salad (w/o cheese)

Krispy Kreme – Fruit Pies (not coconut)

Little Caesars – Pizza Crust, Pizza sauce, Crazy Sauce, Crazy Bread

Macaroni Grill – Pasta w/ Garlic and Oil, Capellini Pomodoro, Tomato Brushetta (w/o cheese), Penne Arrabiata (w/o cheese), House Salad (w/o cheese), Garden Salad (w/o cheese), Balsamic Vinaigrette, Roasted Garlic Vinaigrette, Italian Dressing

McDonald’s – Fruit and Walnut Salad (w/o the walnuts or yogurt), Side Salad, Low-fat Balsamic Vinaigrette, Baked Apple Pie, McVeggie (only available in NYC, Canada, and California) Don’t be fooled! As of now, their fries aren’t vegetarian.

Moe’s – (All tacos, fajitas, salads, and burritos are vegan if you ask for tofu/beans instead of meat and ask for no cheese)

Panera Bread – Everything Bagel, Sesame Bagel, Plain Bagel, Blueberry Bagel, Sourdough Bread, Ciabatta Bread, Nine Grain Loaf, Rye Loaf, Artisan Three Seed Bread, Artisan Sesame Semolina Bread, Artisan Multigrain, Artisan French, Artisan Stone-Milled Rye Bread, Artisan Country, Lower-Carb Pumpkin Seed Bread, Lower Carb Italian Herb Bread, Mediterranean Veggie (without feta cheese)

Papa John’s – Pizza Dough, Pizza Sauce, Thin Crusts, Veggies

Pizza Hut – Thin n’ Crispy Crust, Hand Tossed Dough, Pizza Sauce, Sweet Sauce, Spaghetti Marinara Sauce, Pasta, Italian and French Dressings, Dessert Pizza crust, Cherry topping, Icing, Garlic Bread (make sure it’s oil not butter),

Quizno’s Subs – Garden Salad, Potato Chips

Rainforest Café – the Natural Burger (w/o Safari Sauce), Morningstar Garden Grill, Paradise House Salad.                         Shouldn’t a Rainforest conservation/preservation place be all vegan??

Roy Rogers – Baked Potato, Vegetables (side dishes), Salad Bar, Mashed Potatoes (w/o gravy)

Ruby Tuesday’s – Veggie Burger (w/o mayo and cheese), Veggie Burger Wrap, Salad Bar, Lettuce Wrapped Burger (substitute veggie burger for meat burger)

Sbarro – Tomato Cucumber Salad, Garden Vinaigrette Dressing

Subway – Veggie Delight Salad, Italian Roll/Bread (customize a sub), Veggie Delight (w/o cheese and mayo), Fruizle smoothies, Veggies, Vegan Breads: Italian, Hearty Italian, and Sourdough

Taco Bell – Bean Burrito (w/o cheese), Bean Taco (w/o cheese – specially prepared), seasoned rice, tortilla chips, Veggie Fajita Wrap (w/o cheese), pinto beans, Cinnamon Twists, 7-Layer Burrito (w/o cheese and sour cream), Mexican Pizzas (w/o cheese, meat, sour cream), Nachos (w/o cheese, meat, sour cream), Tacos (w/o meat, cheese, sour cream ADD Black Beans/Refried Beans) Taco Salad (w/o meat/cheese/sour cream, w/ refried beans)

Wendy’s – Plain Baked Potato, French Fries, Deluxe Garden Salad (ask for no cheese), Side Salad, Dressings (French, reduced fat/reduced calorie Italian) Applesauce, Taco Chips, Mandarin Oranges, Veggie Sandwich (everything thats on a burger, without the burger, w/o cheese and mayo)

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